A conversation that COULD HAVE happened at Turtle bread with the cute guy behind the counter, if I wasn't the most shy girl you've ever met...

...when it comes to men.

How the conversation really began:

Attractive guy: Hi, what can I get for you.

Jeano: Hello, I'll have a cup of mushroom wild rice soup.

[AG goes to retrieve soup]

AG: Shoot, we just ran out of mushroom wild rice. We have chicken wild rice if that's alright.

J: No problem, chicken sounds great.

AG: Sorry about that. I really hope you enjoy your soup.

J: [flirtatious laugh, because the way he said it was so sincere]: Thanks, I'm sure I will.

WHAT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED AFTER THAT, BUT NEVER DOES BECAUSE I AM TOO SHY:

J: Hi, I'm Jean.

AG: Hi, I'm the attractive guy who works behind the counter at Turtle Bread.

J: I know. So, this might seem kind of forward, and I really shouldn't be acting forward, because my hair is wet, which is awkward--but I always leave the house with wet hair, it's just a thing I do--anyway, would you like to get coffee sometime?

AG: Yeah, that might be cool. I know I'm hot, but I don't even have a girlfriend or anything. So maybe YOU could be my girlfriend! That might be fun! I mean, we could go out for coffee, find out we have a lot in common, and who knows. By the end of the night, maybe we'll even kiss. Like on the mouth.

J: I sure do like mouth kissing.

AG: Yeah, I think I'm pretty good at it too. And well, I have to be honest. I can tell by your wet hair that you're unemployed right now, and I want you to know that that doesn't matter to me. You'll find something soon.

J: I like your shirt.

AG: Do you want to get married?

J: Are you gay?

AG: No.

J: Then probably.