FART, TEST

I gave a nonfiction test to the frosh on Friday, terms and whatnot. Short answer tests make the room quiet, eerie quiet, save for the scratching of pencils which sound like the mice that used to run around in the Highland attic.

And during second hour, near the end of test time, there were two--two--separate cases of blatant test flatulence. Neither of them were from me. I was sitting at the table in front of the room in typical teacher fashion, grading papers, and to the left I heard a poof of a fart like a maladjust on a leather couch. I didn't look up, I couldn't without laughing. Pretended not to hear it, which is tough when there is only pencil scratching and farts in the room with 32 other people.

And 5 minutes later, from the back of the room, another fart. But this one was quick, like a pop. And there was giggling. Again, I kept my head down. But, really? It wasn't even lunch yet and these kids were farting away. Is it that hard to hold it in? If it was you, and obviously you, wouldn't you just die?

Farty freshman and their fart test.