to do and have done, saturday

*wake up at 8:00, watch shitty-ass version of Lord of the Flies, 1990;
*accidentally watch an episode of SVU, even though there's no time on today's agenda;
*run three miles, poorly, but finally under 12 minute miles, because sometimes I feel like I weigh 400 lbs.;
*NOT get my phone in the mail from dad, who sent it after I left it in Albertville, one mile from my house, where it fell off the top of my car and outside the "Space Aliens" restaurant that I hate for literally thousands of reasons;
*grade papers, slowly, because I can't stop writing so many fucking comments, because in a way it makes me feel like less of an asshole for giving a confusing assignment;
*see The Haunting in Connecticut, even though I should've been at school, decide they can have my five dollars, but I do want my 2 hours back--I need those hours!;
*listen to Motown for 6 hours straight;
*regret that I let myself have three whole days of vacation for spring break--realize now that I absolutely should've been working every day--lazy bitch;
*hate everything;
*eat entire cheese pizza in my classroom whilst grading papers;
*eat two suckers in a row, a chocolate Tootsie Pop that claims to be Easter-egg shaped, but is actually shaped like a giant clitoris, and also a regular shaped Cherry Blow Pop;
*question why everything I've done in the classroom has had some gloomy aspect of failure written all over it, as though I start to teach and black clouds just move in and rain shit all over everybody, even though some people have umbrellas;
*try not to freak out in front of Mr. O, who continues to point out the obvious stupid shit that I plan, which on an application level makes little sense, when there are much easier answers out there, that for some reason, I just can't fucking see, what the hell;
*swallow Blow Pop gum, it is grainy;
*think about how I'd much rather be writing about something else, like the "digits" I picked up a K's wedding, or how I'd spend money if I had it;
*think about that time Christina said I looked like the banana-hair face thing at the Copps employment kiosk, wish I looked that fucking good;
*stop blogging, dumby, and get back to work.