And lo, the Lord said, lo.

Lo, He said, Jeano, you shall have the best duplex in Hutchinson, the most reasonably priced, the one with the laundry in the basement for free, so you may have fresh sheets on your first night here, your first night back in your very own bed since the beginning of June; lo, He said, you shall be four minutes from Target, you shall love, love, love this place, and lo, on the day that you move your two brothers shall help you, your father, two of your brother's friends, and lo, the move shall go quickly. Lo.

And, lo, the great Lord said, lo, Jeano, I know you're not so ecstatic to be living in Hutchinson, lo, you have a horrible classroom, and I know you'd rather, so much to be in Rochester, and all day, lo, you spoke of Rochester and apologized that you'd be moving again in 9 months, most likely, no matter what you shall find on your horizon, whether it is southern Minnesota or not, and, lo, the great Lord said, because you have been so patient with your life (well, not really, but lo, the Lord is forgiving) and because you are not in the first city you'd like to be, you shall have this amazing duplex, so close to your school, so close to work, and lo, even after the first day it shall feel like home because the carpet is thick and brown and the rooms are big, and this is exactly what you imagined your very first ever duplex to be like. Of course, the only thing missing is Liz. But there is no Liz, although this place feels so much like it has been plucked out of a nice neighborhood in Minneapolis. And this is the first place you live on your very own.

And, lo, the great Lord said, you shall have free internet, even if it is a little shady and only works in your room, and hopefully it will stick around so you may save yourself $50 a month, and lo, says the Lord, spend that money wisely because you got your student loan statement in the mail yesterday and you owe as much for loans as a couple would owe for a starter house.

*

I told my brother Travis that a student called me Ms. Pro-snot. His 11-year-old response was that if anyone says that to me again, that I should tell the student that he is going to kick their fucking ass. How adorable.

*
Whew. Moved to Hutchinson today; live here now. I love, love this duplex. I'll post pictures when I can, when it won't take nine hours to upload them to my computer, and of course, once I unpack all of these things. I don't have a bookshelf, and I need about three of them. We'll see when that will get done. My vinyl is alphabetized. Nothing in the kitchen is unpacked, and I have no food.

The one good thing about moving day is that it's a free pass to eat whatever you want. So, thank you moving day, for a big mac. Lo, the Lord said, here is a free ticket for a big mac, you shall go through the drive thru all sweaty, you shall go to Target looking like hell and pray that you shall see no students there.

The streets in Hutchinson are tree-lined, and this city has more parks per capita than any other in Minnesota. I'm still shady about this town, but I don't think it's this town as much as it is that I have nobody here with me. For example, if I fell in love with someone who insisted we stay in Hutchinson, I might not cry over it. But I imagine that I will spend every night alone in this place, in my cute little place, so vintage, so cute, and nobody will ever see it. You should come over.

It was hard to say goodbye to my dad today, hard to watch him drive away in the truck, and it's hard not to be at home right now. I've been thinking about my life at home for the past month, and I haven't been bitching about it, because it hasn't been a disaster. Nobody will cook me dinner anymore. Nobody will bring home doughnuts on Sunday, no dog will bark and bark when I walk up the sidewalk. I tolerated home. After 6 weeks, I got damn used to it--to the point that coming here was like leaving home again. Last Sunday my mom and I had brunch in downtown Minneapolis and then went shopping. We got along. We had a good time. How does that happen.

And today I found out that my sister won her social security case. The case I said she would never win. The one I had no hope for. So, the government, I guess, is giving her money. And she will be moving to Missouri in a couple of months. And she will be taking Dingleberry with her. Dear God, she better be taking Dingleberry with her. She has to, right?

I did no school work this weekend, though it was most certainly in my plans. Lo, the Lord said, it shall be okay.

God, this place is cozy. If only I could uproot it and take it to Rochester, or wherever it is I shall end up.

And so continues Life. So continues the just for 9 months, just for a year, just for now, just until things settle in and settle down. It'd be so much easier if I just had someone else here. Anyone else. I have to eat alone to try these restaurants. And it's a good thing I like going to the movies alone. Maybe I'll become a really good cook in the next 9 months. Maybe I'll get a subscription to Cooking Light, and a literary magazine that suits my fancy, and maybe I'll run off significant pounds on these tree-lined streets. Maybe nothing will change, maybe I'll leave happier, maybe I'll leave less happy, maybe I'll stay for longer than expected, maybe I'll put up my Christmas tree even though I'm the only one to look at it, maybe. I've been having a really tough time with singledom, making this move.

It seems like I can do anything, but only because I have to, because I have no other choice--but if I had someone else, how much easier, how much more exciting it would be; if it could be our cute, weird little place, if we could snuggle up on the porch and watch the leaves change color, if on this first fall-feeling day, we could welcome the rain together, wish each other a good day off to work. If we could eat bad food in front of a movie, split the electric bill, cut unpacking time in half, take a shower before bed, then both decide to call in sick the next day. And, because I'm now living the real life instead of the student life, this singledom just becomes all the more difficult--what if it never happens, what if I just keep making these moves on my own, never able to buy a house because of my bad credit, never ever to meet other couples, or play Scrabble or Cribbage on a random night. How much easier it would be. How much I want it to happen, how scared I am that school will eat me alive, it will just eat me and I will be so busy with students, and I will just walk around by myself like I plan to in a couple of weeks, taking picture of the quirky things about this town (like the phone booth) and seem so, so lonely.

Like independent-movie lonely.

I always play that game when I move somewhere new--as I was taking down the neon green curtains today and putting up my own, I thought--what will have changed about me the next time I leave this place?

How will I be different. Will it be hard to leave.