hey everybody this is what a public school staff meeting is like

It's 7:00 in the morning. The teachers have 900 things to do before school. They gather in a small room that is either way too hot or way too cold, and there are just enough chairs.

Did I mention that the teachers have 900 things to do?

The meeting starts with an award for a teacher who has done something right, along with a comment about how we do it for the kids, for the kids. Then there is a handout about new procedures, something that has changed, something in procedure or time that has to change. Or something about a change in the schedule, or some handout about test scores having gone up or down.

Let's just say this: the handout has something to do with how the teacher's life has to change, how the teacher likely has to rearrange a schedule or add something to the schedule that she has no time for. Sometimes you have to take time out of class to discuss for ten minutes. Sometimes you have to lose the kids for one hour of the day.

Or, if it's last week, sometimes you have to make up for the computer person that has resigned. Because they're not replacing her, and all the work that she did--fixing the copier, making computers not-be-shitty when your kids use the computer lab, scheduling--all that stuff--is now the responsibility of the teachers.

The next thing that happens in the meeting is that the teachers are pissed.

The next thing that happens is they start to raise hands and all share stories and reasons (rightfully so, of course) that it's ridiculous that someone who leaves, whose position isn't filled (and thus freeing up district money) has her work now placed on the teachers. (This is what other schools do! the administration says.) Who now have to clean up the labs, and check things about computers that they don't know anything about, and check computer stations for the "mouse balls" that students go ahead and steal sometimes.

The next thing that happens is that the bell rings and the disgruntled teachers, leaving with more work than they came with, go teach.

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What else.

Today I went for a run that I didn't want to go on, and I decided that I might try to set a goal of two miles a day. I mean, I was running three in the summer and that was when I didn't have anything else to do rather than bitch about how broke I was. So, even though 2 miles seems almost like a waste because it's just a short run, considering all of the running around I do during the day, it'll be about the same as the summer, no? And I lost a little bit of weight this summer. Maybe if it's just two, I can do it, eh? But it's hard, it's hard. To put on the running clothes after a long day of school, to get out and move when I just want to come home and fucking collapse.

What else.

Lots of thoughts about education. Teenagers. How to be a teacher. Anxiety. What I can change, and what I can't. I wish I had more student stories to share. I need to take more notes, write it all down. They're doing crazy shit; I just force myself to forget about it when I leave.

What else.

Car shopping this weekend, perhaps.

What else. Oh, what else. It feels like it should be March instead of October. It feels that I've learned months worth of lessons in these last couple of weeks. But it's still October? Really? Just October? Are you sure Christmas didn't pass by already? Can I have a couple weeks off or something? Meh.