The wisdom of my father.

Say what I will about my parents, blame them for what I blame them for: but they're there when I call them crying because my credit card payment has been turned over to a collection agency and that collection agency calls me and harasses me and makes me feel like a big piece of shit for not having enough money--especially in the big chunks they ask for all at once (hey, guess what, if I had that money I'd give it to you, because believe it or not, having shitty credit and owing people money is not fun nor a choice of mine) and when I talk to Rich he says, well you do what you can and you don't have it and they can't expect it--if you couldn't make payments now, how can they really want you to pay $6000 by the end of the month? they're just trying to scare you into borrowing a bunch of money from a friend--and their job is to harass you and make you feel like shit--because they work on a commission, you know, but when it comes down to it, you owe them money and they can't take it out of your wages, and they want their money--so stand hard. Don't give them your tax payment--you need that to live this summer. Don't give them shit. You don't have it. Goddammit, you can't get blood out of a turnip.

And so, I returned the phone call to Nicole, the unbelievably bitchy woman at the collection agency who left the message that it was imperative that I called her back, who interrupted me when I was talking to her, who said, when I said, as I said to you, if I had the money, I would give it to you; it's not FUN for me to have debt--who said to that, Miss, I never once implied that this is a joking matter or that any of this was FUN for you and who then nearly criticized my decision to get a college education for the last eight years--so I returned a phone call to her, and when she said, what can you pay me right now, I said: I'm a public school teacher, and if you can't work a payment plan with me to take care of this a little at a time, then you get nothing. I'm sorry, but as I said, if I had the money, I'd give it to you. But you can't get blood out of a turnip.

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