I'll explain it to you like I did to them.

If you've read my blog before, or if you know me, you know this:

I HATE bugs, but bugs LOVE me.

Class, I said this morning. I have a story to tell you while you're filling our your index cards. Last night was one of the scariest nights of my life.

So, I was lying in my bed. It's red, just like this [red dry erase marker, draws on board]:

And then, as I was joyfully re-reading A Separate Peace so I could amaze you with my deep knowledge of the novel, I felt something on my leg, right about here. It felt like it was crawling on me, but I let it go, just assumed it was nothing. The only people who feel things crawling on them are meth addicts and schizophrenics, and I am neither of those.

And then, after I finished the book and turned out the light, I felt another movement by my arm! So I jumped out of bed, and screamed, and there was nobody to protect me, and guess what I saw. Guess what it was?

Was it a bug, they asked? I said, and then drew this big circle over my bed: It was this big and it was a HUGE SPIDER. I hate spiders, and there was one in my bed! It was the grossest thing I've ever, ever seen.

If you're good next week, I'll tell you story of how the moth attacked me in the shower. Now get back to work.