THANK-GOD-IT'S-NOT-YESTERDAY MAGENTA

A big change in the last 24. Mr. O saved the day, as did a conversation with Jenny. Two McSweeney's joke books came in the mail, one with a unicorn on the front, the other with a smoking chicken. Ripped the page of yesterday out of the coloring book of life, and what have you. Mailed an application for a real job, printed on real resume paper. Ate a good sandwich for lunch, bought a friend a giant cookie.

Remember when I went off on transcripts awhile ago, when I was working at Capella? I was looking at my transcripts today before sending them off to the job app, and I was getting mad at myself for the shitty grades in my undergrad. And for the classes I don't remember taking. What a waste of money, eh? I don't rememeber a goddamn thing about Comparative Political Systems. I know dick about Women's Health Issues, other that when my roommate throws away my no-baby pills it pisses me off and I have to dig through the garbage to find them next to lettuce so brown it's wet.

Sat in on a high school history class today. Makes me want to teach high school history, makes me mad I know nothing about Teddy Roosevelt. That's right, Christina! Good ole Teddy. He hated being called Teddy, you know. He wrestled Japanese wrestlers in the White House library, you know. He skinny dipped, with his whole cabinet, in the Potomac, you know. He was a pioneer conservationist and founded a lot of National Parks (but not Yellowstone) you know. But he wasn't a preservationist, because he liked to hunt. He started government policies about food safety, you know. You know, I wish we'd all been in high school together, but like if we are how we are right now. I just want to do a project on presidents with all of you and then present it to a class and get an A on it. I get to be group leader.

I just want to sit in a room and have people tell me cool shit all day. Is that too much to ask? Tell me cool shit, and I will listen to you.

I was in the mood, earlier, to write an Open Letter to a future employer, but maybe I'll put it off because I can. It's just that I have so much to say about being a teacher lately, about second-guessing choices for the first time yesterday, about students and other teachers and people telling me how to run my class, and pep fests that fuck up the whole day.

Here's how it will start:

[Dear Future Employer,

It is with enthusiasm that I am applying for this Future job. Well, you know what I mean, Future employer. I like your space suit, by the way, and your state-of-the-art moon boots--but I guess you need those when you live on the moon, huh?! Man, the future looks so cool! I can't wait to work with your Future district!

Anyway, while I was hiding and crying under my desk third hour yesterday...]

And so on.