It's official.

I officially signed a contract today.

Also, officially, I AM LICENSED BY THE MINNESOTA DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION TO TEACH THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. OFFICIALLY.

Included with my Communication Arts & Literature (Minnesota's fancy way of saying English) comes licensure in:

• Awesomeness.
• Getting car stereos stolen.
• Cute shoes.
• Saying "boob" in front of my students three times in one day.
• Feigning sickness to avoid parent/teacher conferences.
• Quoting Simpsons episodes in class and then accusing students of being "out of it."
• Speech.
• Listening to Oldies during class, defending Journey in front of 14-year-olds, then starting dance parties.
• Declaring my own Snow Days in October.
• Making fun of substitutes the day I get back, especially with comments about "old people smell."
• Saying "ass" for shock value.
• "Bring Ms. P a snack for an A" day.

When is it going to be time to buy school supplies? I am going to have so many markers in my classroom.