PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Children & Rape.

Because it is the job of teenagers to take language to a new level of "offensive" each passing year, the students have decided that the word "rape" is an appropriate replacement for the word "kill," which has adopted the meaning "dominated," which means "own," or "pwn." All which stands for "succeeded at."

For example, Tessa said she heard a student say, Yes! I totally raped this assignment! when he got back an A essay.

Excuse me? As a teacher, an adult, a woman, a human being, this is disgusting.

As myself, this is hilarious, and it deserves mocking. I am two people: I am a teacher, and I am Jeano.

And this broken barrier of language opens up so many doors! Look where we're going, America!:

• I raped that essay.
• I committed a statutory offense against that equation.
• I sexually assaulted that multiple choice test.
• I tore up that group project and left my sperm in it because I didn't use a condom.
• I bent that reading assignment right over while it screamed at me to stop.
• I hid in the parking garage and then forced myself on that assignment when it was alone after-hours.
• I molested that take home test until it went numb with pain.
• That pop quiz just got a restraining order against me.
• I finger-fucked that vocab test while holding a pillow over its face.
• I humiliated that math problem sexually and ruined it for all students who will encounter that math problem in the future.

I'd forgotten about this conversation until Tessa and I went for pizza today--and we ate like we were hungover. On the way home, after a bit of silence, I said, so, we really raped that pizza, huh? She snorted. I said, yeah, we tore that pizza up. It was a mess when we were done. There was sauce everywhere.

You have to admire the verbiage. It's like really twisted poets live inside students.